Edit: Fitting Music (I just post the song I was listening to.)

The year is 2003, and it is he future.

After Richard Nixon's failed impeachment, the world saw a technological breakthrough in energy weapon and cyborg technology. Now, dying for your country only meant coming back later as a cyborg commando. By 1982, the Soviet Union has almost completely replaced it's soldiers with Soviet Cyborgs, programmed to destroy America and spread communism across the galaxy.

Now armed with Plasma-M16's, America kickstarted Vietnam War II, hoping to spread democracy and napalm to all the godless commies of Asia. However, not even the might of American liberty could subvert the new Soviet cyborg army. The war was lost in 1994, following the nuking of Canada after the Soviets invaded, in an attempt to steal America's snow. Canada was transformed into a series of tropical islands, heated forever by the fires of war.

By 1999, communism had engulfed almost the entire civilized world. Only America stood between the Soviets and turning the world into a giant socialist ****-hole. America and the USSR scrambled for new technology in the atomic wastelands of South America and Canada, leading to the greatest discovery in the history of man, "The VHS tapes of Liberty."

The seas just off the coast of Cuba had dried out from nuclear war, as the planet was now only 66.6% water. It was there that General Vietnam and his forces found the ancient artifacts. Thousands of years ago, an ancient sophisticated civilization had embodied all their knowledge and powers into two artifacts. Since they were the ultimate civilization, they used the ultimate form of video-recording media, the VHS tape. General Vietnam absorbed one of the tapes' powers, and become Captain Vietnam, known for his ultimate powers of liberty and capitalism.

However, Captain Vietnam's assistant, Sergeant Karl Marx Jr. , stole the other tape in an act of espionage, becoming the ultimate communist warrior. For the next nine years they would clash, as Captain Vietnam helped humanity take back what the atheist marxists had taken away from them. By 2002, the Soviets were losing the war, and had lost their glorious leader, Stalin II: Stalin Harder. It was then that the Soviets unveiled one of their secret weapons: Project Time-traveling Soviet Assassins, or the TSA for short. The attack was devastating, despite America stealing of of the time machines, the assassins' technology was far beyond anything we had seen, lead by the furious Karl Marx Jr.

It was then that we figured it out, in order to stop the time travelers from destroying the world, we needed someone who had spent his entire lifetime battling time travelers, someone who in unparalleled in their uncanny ability to fend of time traveling assassins. We needed Adolf H***er. Commander Vietnam used his unearthly powers of justice and freedom to summon ol' Adolf straight from 1944.

After turning H***er into a MK.73 robo-scorpion cyborg warrior, the time travelers where all dead in days, forcing the Soviets to kill H***er with 23 dozen nuclear missiles directly to Moscow, which was being invaded by robo-H***er. The war was almost over, but the Soviets had one last ace in the whole. Starting in 1933, the commies had constructed a giant city on the moon, capable of destroying the entire Earth. They named this city, "Space Stalingrad." Commander Vietnam was sent to "Fort Freedom," where they planned to use his powers to destroy the moon base, but victory would not come that easily.

The fort was attacked by the entire remaining Soviet cyborg army. They were met with the entire US army and navy, all positioned at this one tiny fort. Commander Vietnam killed thousands of cyborgs, tearing out their VHS Tape Hearts as trophies. With the communist forces dwindling under the might of American Patriotism, Karl Marx Jr. did battle with Commander Vietnam, in one final showdown. The godless commie had grown strong since they last met, replacing his heart with the ancient VHS tape he had stolen. As they fought with plasma katanas, Commander Vietnam felt helpless against his rival's new power. Knocked down and almost defeated, Marx Jr. stepped on the Commander's neck, claiming he had been beaten. " I've always been stronger than you! I created you! I am your father!" Commander Vietnam knew it to be true, and took one final stand against his commie father, he used the power of the VHS tape to shoot a laser beam at Marx Jr, who countered with his own power. The struggle was fierce, but Commander Vietnam's patriotism and faith in freedom proved to be too much for Karl Marx Jr. He exploded into a thousand pieces, leaving behind only his ancient VHS tape.

Now armed with both VHS tapes of liberty, Commander Vietnam used his new found power to BLOW UP THE WHOLE F**KING MOON. America had saved the world from communism, as it was always destined to do. Commander Vietnam pondered for a moment, wondering what should be done now, but then it came to him. He would spread democracy and freedom across the entire multiverse, creating a new galactic American empire of peace and the 2nd amendment. He propelled himself into space and speeds that make light itself s**t itself in humility. HIs new objective: destroy DNS, and their galactic communist regime.


Sorry guys, I know this one wasn't an erotic fanfic, but that should be coming soon. Make sure to comment of how DNS is an evil communist atheist empire, or something like that. Follow me on the Twitter that may or may not be mine.

Happy now Killar?