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1st Lieutenant Tiberius
0uter.Heaven
1455
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Posted - 2014.04.03 08:04:00 -
[1] - Quote
Made this a few months back during the war on Sver Prime, originally posted in the War Room but I figured I'd like to see what you guys thought of it. With the Spring time sun out I've been reading a lot and getting back in the writing mood, so I kindly ask for your thoughts and opinions.
The events in the stories are based on 3 actual PC battles that I played during the war, exaggerated and dramatized by the brain of yours truly. Hope you enjoy it.
(These were posted on the War Room at the time of the war, links go straight to Locked War Room threads so you can read the comments too if you wish)
1. The Long March into the Heart of Sver Prime
2. Day 4: Hostile Acquisition
3. Rain of Death
The Sinwarden
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Roy Ventus
Axis of Chaos
1574
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Posted - 2014.04.03 19:16:00 -
[2] - Quote
Will actually sit down and read it when I feel a little better.
"There once was a time when there wasn't a Roy Ventus and it wasn't much of a time at all."
http://royventus.tumblr.com
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Jacques Cayton II
Eternal Beings
Proficiency V.
739
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Posted - 2014.04.03 22:48:00 -
[3] - Quote
I've read it before it's good I might do something like it for Caldari factional warfare soon but that'd take me a bit and I'd need notes..... So prob not anytime soon.
We fight for the future of the State not our
personal goals
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Roy Ventus
Axis of Chaos
1611
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Posted - 2014.04.06 13:20:00 -
[4] - Quote
I really like the 1st one. Going to read the other ones soon. I really needed help with describing battlefields and getting the atmosphere right when it comes to my own writing and you really helped with that as well.
"There once was a time when there wasn't a Roy Ventus and it wasn't much of a time at all."
http://royventus.tumblr.com
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1st Lieutenant Tiberius
0uter.Heaven
1486
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Posted - 2014.04.06 16:39:00 -
[5] - Quote
Roy Ventus wrote:I really like the 1st one. Going to read the other ones soon. I really needed help with describing battlefields and getting the atmosphere right when it comes to my own writing and you really helped with that as well.
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it and I hope you enjoy the other 2 as well.
I think the biggest influence I have in my writing is Frank Herbert, the way that man paints a picture in your mind is absolutely wonderful. I think I've read the first 3 Dune Books at the time of writing this and has since finished the 4th, they have to be my favorite Sci-Fi series.
Right now I'm reading All Quiet on the Western Front, different writing style but equally as haunting and beautiful
The Sinwarden
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1st Lieutenant Tiberius
0uter.Heaven
1626
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Posted - 2014.04.17 00:46:00 -
[6] - Quote
Wow I see that this thread has had 1000+ views now, I hope all thousand of you read and enjoyed my little fit of writing. Would love to hear some feedback though! was thinking of doing some more now that the nature of events have changed so drastically since.
Some of the PC games I've played recently have been quite noteworthy and exciting. Any other writers here want to give this amateur some pointers?
The Sinwarden
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Clockwork Jester
Namtar Elite
Gallente Federation
33
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Posted - 2014.04.18 01:42:00 -
[7] - Quote
I do not really believe myself to be qualified to provide constructive criticism but it is always nice to know what people thought of your work.
I read all three and thought they were good and well written. There were a few times in all of them that there was an issue with the tense. It made it difficult to read at times, but that is a common mistake that we almost all make while writing. As I am not involved in PC affairs it is nice to read about them.
The choice to write it in the style of a battle report or log is also an interesting decision. It is straight forward and matter of fact which can come across as a bit robotic or emotionless at times. Though the last bit in the third report was interesting it gave some insight to the author of the reports. Perhaps more detail on some of the battles that take place would help add more emotion to the writing without taking away for the battle report style. Personal thoughts, or those of your squad mates are always welcome it helps to connect the reader who may not know your corp mates on a personal level.
I hope you continue to write and I look forward to your next piece of work. |
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