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VGVoid
SCIENCE FOR LIFE Galactic Skyfleet Empire
0
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Posted - 2014.03.21 03:35:00 -
[1] - Quote
Hey guys,
working on a story (some of you already know) and considering I'm still new to the whole Dust-story-making scenario I've decided to make it so I could get feedback as I create it. Hope you like it (as it grows).
Progress:
-Prologue
Share your thoughts, - -V
Don't ask why I don't talk, instead ask why am I listening.
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True Adamance
Praetoriani Classiarii Templares Praetoria Imperialis Excubitoris
8572
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Posted - 2014.03.21 07:04:00 -
[2] - Quote
Interesting prologue but I have a tough time capturing and or creating an image of what the story is about.
Sure its a nice concept to tackle BIG questions like "who am I?", "What am I?", "Why do I fight?"......however it doesn't make for good reading as we as amateurs rare ever are able to convey through writing exactly the answer.
Personally unless you without a doubt and wholly understand your character and what makes them who they are, right down to their core, and admittedly its not easy to admit you don't, you won't be able to answer of convey those concepts well. I also think I will have a tough time figuring out the premise of the plot since you have hot introduced a person for me to attach myself to.
All in all I applaud what I think you are trying to do.....but would caution you against it.
"Who am I ?" Plots are hard to narrate and very tricky to get right.
Frankly speaking I would rather hear about your character directly than an internal monologue about who and what your character thinks he or she it.
"Get thine Swag out of my face! Next you'll be writing #YOLOswagforJamyl in all your posts!"
-Dagger Two
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VGVoid
SCIENCE FOR LIFE Galactic Skyfleet Empire
0
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Posted - 2014.03.21 21:45:00 -
[3] - Quote
True Adamance wrote:Interesting prologue but I have a tough time capturing and or creating an image of what the story is about.
Sure its a nice concept to tackle BIG questions like "who am I?", "What am I?", "Why do I fight?"......however it doesn't make for good reading as we as amateurs rare ever are able to convey through writing exactly the answer.
Personally unless you without a doubt and wholly understand your character and what makes them who they are, right down to their core, and admittedly its not easy to admit you don't, you won't be able to answer of convey those concepts well. I also think I will have a tough time figuring out the premise of the plot since you have hot introduced a person for me to attach myself to.
All in all I applaud what I think you are trying to do.....but would caution you against it.
"Who am I ?" Plots are hard to narrate and very tricky to get right.
Frankly speaking I would rather hear about your character directly than an internal monologue about who and what your character thinks he or she it.
Hmm,
I understand the points you've made. I should probably clarify that the story isn't really about my character, it's more about the Minmatar and the events that have followed them. I'm doing my research about them (as you know) and I figured that I should try to use that newly acquired information to show a "depiction" of what is happening to Minmatars in its more recent times in form of a 'Clone's' perspective.
The prologue is basically... not suppose to make too much sense? It's an advancement into the story, as in a small look into the further parts of the story. I suppose it sounds more directed around my character and the people who fight in Dust 514, but it's more about another person's story, as well as my character still trying to learn about himself.
I know I can't start to identify my character yet, but this story will hopefully get me closer to finding that answer.
My regards, - -V
Don't ask why I don't talk, instead ask why am I listening.
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VGVoid
SCIENCE FOR LIFE Galactic Skyfleet Empire
1
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Posted - 2014.03.25 22:08:00 -
[4] - Quote
Added a small summary for the story.
I'll be done with the next section tomorrow hopefully.
- -V
Don't ask why I don't talk, instead ask why am I listening.
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Gaurdian Satyr
Glitched Connection
1
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Posted - 2014.03.26 05:27:00 -
[5] - Quote
I would read this story I never gave a second thought about the effects of cloning on the individual, this interest me and would love to read other people idea on what happens.
Realization that the mercs we kill off aren't us but people inside the game that have there own thoughts and feels but we just control them and have somebody to write down the merc perspective is captivating
As I great Minmitar soldier once said to me "Murder murder"
Inspiration merc. slogan
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VGVoid
SCIENCE FOR LIFE Galactic Skyfleet Empire
1
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Posted - 2014.03.27 22:56:00 -
[6] - Quote
-Re-arranged the prologue (same text but different organization) -Added Chapter 1
Give your thoughts, - -V
Don't ask why I don't talk, instead ask why am I listening.
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True Adamance
Praetoriani Classiarii Templares Praetoria Imperialis Excubitoris
8988
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Posted - 2014.03.27 23:00:00 -
[7] - Quote
Gaurdian Satyr wrote:I would read this story I never gave a second thought about the effects of cloning on the individual, this interest me and would love to read other people idea on what happens.
Realization that the mercs we kill off aren't us but people inside the game that have there own thoughts and feels but we just control them and have somebody to write down the merc perspective is captivating
Edit: just realized my signature mentions a Minmitar
Lore wise all the Empires first generation clones were driven mad by the close integration with Sleeper consciousnesses and were exterminated as a result.... consequently dying a lot must be hard on the clones psyche.
"Get thine Swag out of my face! Next you'll be writing #YOLOswagforJamyl in all your posts!"
-Dagger Two
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VGVoid
SCIENCE FOR LIFE Galactic Skyfleet Empire
1
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Posted - 2014.03.28 18:15:00 -
[8] - Quote
Any thoughts or questions about chapter 1? Or overall?
- -V
Don't ask why I don't talk, instead ask why am I listening.
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