So here i am trying to join a skirmish, game starts, map overview appears, i choose some starter spawn, wait the for the timer, screen goes black, annnnnnnnnnnnd

nothing.

Its all black.

I can hear people around me, i can even hear myself move, i can shoot, i can throw grenades, i hear them explode, but i cant see anything.

I press start, i see the overview of the map perfectly, i see my team mates making their way to objective B, but i dont see my character, i dont see my dot on the map, im nowhere.

And yet.. i still exist. I can shoot, run out of grenades, reload, and if i walk in the same direction long enough, the overview map begins centering on different parts of the map, as if it was pointing to me, but it points to nothing.

I decide to suicide and end all of this, i'll get in this game and play it right.

I press start, find the suicide button and click it, only to read the horrifying message:

You cannot commit suicide as you are not alive

What? Impossible. I'm real, im living, i know it! It cant be true!

Stuck somewhere, between life and death, in some miserable immortal and unholy existence on some godforsaken planet. For all eternity? No, i won't accept it.

I look at the map again, and deduce which analog direction i need to move in to commit suicide via redlining.

I keep going until i finally make it, i check the map -- yes! The countdown starts, soon i'll be free of this hellish half-life.

A minor vibration sends me into ecstasy as i'm brought to the map overview, allowed to choose a new spawn, allowed to start life again. I pick a CRU close the fight, excited to join my comrades again. The countdown ends. The screen goes black.

And nothing.

I'm back. I return to the river styx. No one can see me.

No one can help me.

I remain a ghost for the last of the game, crying quietly to myself, unintentionally haunting the CRU.