|Posted - 2017.07.23 00:07:00 -
 - Quote
Silver: You, Dyrion Kannister, stand on trial here in the Rekt Keep in the sight of gods and men for team killing, trolling, and, most importantly, throwing as accused by the Qu eer Regent, Shepherd Ghey. Ser Neckolas, the one known solely as The Destroyer, and myself will stand as the judges and decide your fate. May the trial begin. The ***** Regent wishes to call upon himself as the first witness.
Shep: Well, ladies and gentlemen of the court, it's quite simple. I was fighting against a band of ne'er-do-wells with my compatriots. Through cheap tactics and, quite frankly, utter BULLSH IT, the miscreants with which we were doing battle managed to fell all but DK and me. I would like to make it known, however, that I had the whole situation under control. I still had 9 HP and THEY DIDN'T EVEN HAVE ANY MORE TWITCH DRONES. Needless to say, they were FU CKED. As I prepared to finish off my 5 foes, I was struck in the back! It was DK's C4! Now, he didn't detonate the thing, but it was enough to seal our fates. He took me from 9 HP all the way down to 4. As any knight, or day I say even a commoner, who isn't totally fu cking BRAINDEAD would know. That's not enough HP to take on 5 sweaties. I mean, that's not even 1 HP for each of their grotesque necks!
Silver: Do you have anything more to add?
Shep: Yeah, this CHIMP is really just a total fa ggot in general and he basically threw before this atrocity even occurred by picking Tachanka. Mother-fu cking TACHANKA.
Silver: These are very serious charges being brought against you, DK. What do you have to say in your defense?
DK: I didn't throw. Do you guys realize how re tarded Shepherd sounds right now? I may have brought him down to 4 HP, but he only had 9 HP before. I may have picked Tachanka, but I had the most kills. I may not have given a sh it about the battle, but I didn't fu cking throw. I don't deny what Shepherd says happened, but I'm definitely not the reason he got sh it on and we lost.
Neck: I don't know, you seem like a ni gger to me.
Air: Oi, a bloody wanker indeed.
Silver: Now if the first witness would take the stand. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Gustavo, the king's master of fore skin. Gustavo, you heard DK make some incriminating statements to Shep?
Gus: Yeah, DK said "I'm picking Tachanka on purpose."
Gus: Yeah, and then Shep said some stuff and DK said "Shut the fu ck up you fat, ugly, ni gger before I headshot your fa ggot a ss." Then, Shep said more stuff and then DK said "I might as well throw."
Silver: People, calm down.
Air: Wankers and mash, we should just lynch the nigguh now!
Neck: We should just lynch all ni ggers right now.
Silver: Is there any truth to these statements, DK?
DK: Well, yeah but Gustavo isn't even going to say what Shepherd was saying or what was happening?
Gus: No, why?
DK: Because what he was saying was just as bad and if you knew what was going on you'd know that I was just joking around.
Gus: I do know all that. It's my job to know.
Air: Oi, isn't your job to attend to the king's fore skin?
Gus: Yeah, but this is my side job.
DK: So, tell them then.
DK: Why the fu ck not, fa g?
Gus: Why is this guy talking to me so much? Silver, you told me this was rigged against him and if I said that stuff that I could the night off from fondling the king's fore skin so I could fondle my own for once.
DK: What do you mean it's rigged?
Silver: Did you really think you stood a chance here? You'll be lucky to make it out of this with your head. When the Qu eer Regent says someone threw, well that's that.
Silver: Not another word. Now for the final witness.
DK: I- you'r- jus- goin- t- fin- m- guilt- anyway-, wh- eve- cal- anothe- witnes-, nigge-?
Silver: Cute, but you will not speak again. Bring him in. Do you know this man?
Pack: Yeh, I know dat ni gga. I'm his bi tch on the DL, but I ain't no bi tch, ya dig? He fu cks me in the a ss all the time on the real, tho
Silver: Right. What can you tell us about him?
Pack: He done did all the sh it that qu eer ni gga over there said and he threw on purpose kinda like how he throws his di ck right up my a ss.
Shep: You're calling me qu eer in same sentence that you admitted that you let him fu ck you in the a ss. Are you LOBOTOMIZED?
Pack: Ni gga, I admitted that sh it in the sentence before that; I was jus' sayin' it again. Plus, ain'tchu the ni gga they call the qu eer regent?
Shep: Yes, that's my official title. What of it?
Pack: And ain't your name Shepher G ay?
Shep: My full name is Shepherd Ghey. So?
Pack: So, you sure sounds like a fa ggot-a ss ni gga to me. And I think I done know a thing or two about some fa ggot-a ss ni ggas.
Neck: Yeah, he's obviously a fa g, but he isn't a ni gger, so he's only number two on the lynch list. There's a whole lot of fu cking ni ggers to deal with before we start going after the qu eers.
Silver: Is there anything else you'd like to say about the defendant, Pack?
Pack: Yeah, I think that ni gga was in love with me and also I think that ni gga finna cry right now.
DK: I don't want to hear any more of this fa ggotry.
Silver: I commanded you to speak no more.
DK: I demand a trial by combat.
Silver: And so it shall be. The 1v1 will be tomorrow. The crown names The Montagne as its champion.
DK: NO, anyone but him! Please...
Silver: Return him to his cell.
DK: Why are you here, fa g? Did you come to talk about how there's going to be one less ni gger in the world soon?
Neck: No, you might be a fu cking ni gger, but at least you aren't a black ni gger. I came to help.
DK: I thought a ni gger was a ni gger to you. So why help me?
Neck: Actually a wi gger isn't nearly as bad a go ddamn, mother-fu cking trueborn ni gger. But you're right, I don't really want to help you. I just want a chance to kill The Montagne.
Neck: What do you mean why? Because he's a fu cking NI GGERRRRRRRR.
My YouTube Channel