|Posted - 2017.05.11 02:06:00 -
 - Quote
Mozai: Alvight, Chris. I'm done vith zis fool. Execute him.
Chris: Oh, okay. How do you want me to do it, Pav?
Chris: Can you remind me which one that again?
Mozai: Zat is ze one vere you cut off his head! Perhaps you should be the one having your head lopped off!
Chris: Isn't that kind of like piking?
Mozai: Vat is piking?
Alias: You don't know what piking is?
Mozai: So know you know zomething? For ze love of God, just kill him Chris.
Chris: OK, just a minute.
Mozai: Vat in the name of the fuhrer could you need to do first?
Chris: I just wanted to make sure I knew what piking is. What is it?
Alias: It's where you give me McDonald's and let me go. Or just kill me. As long as I get McDonald's first.
Chris: So, is that what you want me to do, Pav? Let him go and give him McDonald's?
Mozai: NO! Fetch me ze guillotine. I'm going to cut off his head and zkullfu ck it while he is ztill conscious. Zen you are next.
Alias: So, you do actually know what piking is.
Chris: I knew I knew what is was!
Mozai: Zat is vat piking is? I made it up on ze fly.
Chris: Here's the guillotine.
Mozai: Good. Put his head in it.
Chris: Uh, I don't think it's going to fit.
Mozai: Vy not?!
Chris: Just look at his neck.
Mozai: Fetch the extra wide guillotine!
Chris: OK, it looks like he'll just fit in this one.
Mozai: Release the blade!
The guillotine blade bounces off Alias' hard body (neck) and shatters.
Mozai: Just dump him in the gutter where he belongs. I don't vant to deal vith him for vone more moment. He isn't worth it.
Chris: You got it Pav. I'll take care of it. Don't you worry.
Mozai: Zat's vat I like to hear, Chris. I'm going to retire to my ztudy to vatch some anime.
Mozai leaves to his study. Though he closed the door and did his darndest to soundproof the walls, loud, disturbing moans can be heard from within.
Chris: Hey, I'm pretty sure you weigh way too much for me to actually move you anywhere. You know, because of your neck and all. Do you think you could just dump yourself in the gutter?
Alias: Why would I do that?
Chris: Well, it would put you one step closer to McDonald's.
Without another word, Alias walks outside and throws himself into the gutter where he desperately paws around looking for McDonald's, maw dripping.
Chris: OK, bye.
Chris goes back inside and not but a few moments later Alias' rescuers arrive.
Neck: Jesus fu cking Christ. What in the fu ck are you doing?
Alias: What does it look like? I'm looking for McDonald's.
DK: Yeah, Neck, are you re tarded. That's obviously what he's doing.
Gus: The way he's blindly grasping for something that's not there kind of reminds me of how I reach for my di ck when necrophilia hentai comes on.
Pack: The fu ck you mean reach for something that ain't there, ni gga.
Gus: You're right. That was merely a slip of the tongue. Kind of like when I'm devouring some 3-day expired a ss. I meant to say I instantly grasp my massive co ck because it's too big to miss.
DK: Neck is pretty slow. He probably still doesn't understand. You should probably be more specific for him. On the downlow, though, I think Neck just wants you to be more specific because he's a homosexual.
Neck: Fu ck you, bi tch, ni gger. Like sh it I am.
Gus: No, it's OK Neck. What I meant by devouring 3-day expired a ss was devouring the a ss of a small child who has been dead for roughly 3 days. Rough like the di cking I'm going to inevitably give said dead child's a ss right after my hunger is sated.
Pack: Oi, you really is one fu cked up ni gga.
Air: Oi, I'm going to have to agree with the Pack-a-punch here. Did you bloody wankers make me come along just so I have to listen to this?
Tex: No, Destroyer, you are very important to this mission.
Air: Oi, you're fu cking right about that one, m8. I'm the destroyer of air!
Shep: I hate to sh it on your guys' parade, but we are in the middle of a warzone.
DK: Well, if Neck would just shut the fu ck up we could just get going.
Alias: Hey, can we go kill the guys that were holding me hostage.
Tex: Did they do some messed up stuff to you, Alias?
Pack: Like what, ni gga?
Alias: They wouldn't give me McDonald's.
Shep: Yeah, I think we should just get going before the enemies figure out we're here and lobotomize our whole plan.
Neck: Hold on. Are they ni gger, Alias.
Neck: Then we're absolutely going to fu cking murder them.
DK: Neck, aren't you black?
Neck: Just from the waist down.
DK: Doesn't that make you a ni gger?
Neck: Doesn't that mean your mom got railed by a ni gger?
Gus: Is that why her an us was so loose when I dug up her grave?
DK: Neck, I think your thinking of your mom.
Air: Oi, your mum got fu cked by a ni gger and Gustavo, Neck? Get fu cked.
Neck: Fu ck all you ni ggers. Let's just go kill these other ni ggers.
Tex: OK, but we have to be quick about it.
Neck: Quick? Fu ck that. I'm going to make these blacks suffer.
Shep: If you weren't a bi tch you could make them suffer and do it quickly.
Neck: Fu cking fine. I'll show you I'm not a bi tch like DK.
Neck busts down the down.
Chris: Can I help you?
Neck: I thought you said they were ni ggers, Alias.
Alias: They are. They're McDonald's hoarding ni ggers.
Neck: What, like wi ggers?
Neck: OK. Say your prayers, jigga boo.
Neck unloads the full clip from his rifle into Chris' kneecaps.
Shep: Christ, Neck. Now the enemy definitely knows we're here.
Chris: Please, somebody just kill me!
Gus: Yeah, somebody kill him already. I want to get to work.
Tex: I'm sorry this had to happen to you, friend.
Tex readies his gun to put Chris out of his misery.
Neck: Wait. Let me do it.
Tex hands Neck his gun. Neck unloads the whole clip into Chris' kneecaps.
Neck: Fu ck fu ck-ni ggers.
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