|Posted - 2017.02.15 19:53:00 -
 - Quote
Mozai: Chris, zis guy is a total re tard.
Chris: You told me to wait outside.
Mozai: Zen vy are you not outside?
Chris: You just said my name.
Alias: Hey, I'm not re tarded.
Mozai: Zen why do you not know anything?
Alias: I don't pay attention.
Mozai: Let's try zis vone more time. Vere is your base?
Alias: I don't know.
Mozai: How many men do you have?
Alias: I don't know.
Mozai: How did you end up here?
Alias: I smelled McDonald's.
DK: Neck, you smell like fu cking sh it.
Neck: That's not me you fu ck-ni gger. It's probably you, fa glord.
Shep: It's probably both of you fu cking bedsh itters.
DK: No, it's definitely Neck.
Neck: If you want to know what my sh it smells like, you can stick your face down there and eat my a ss while you're at it.
Shep: It's Destroyer.
Air: Oi, m8s.
Neck: What are you doing here, home-point slave-ni gger?
Shep: Yeah, you're supposed to be watching our backs.
Air: For fu ck's sake, why is that always my job?
DK: Probably because you're a bi tch, but I'm more concerned with why you smell like sh it.
Air: Oi, I got scared.
Neck: You want to be on the front lines, but you sh it your pants? Are you actually re tarded.
Air: It's not my fault, yeah. I had some very greasy fish and chips for lunch.
Shep: Go back to home point, Destroyer.
Neck: What a wanker.
DK: At least he's not a ni gger like you.
Neck: You're calling me a ni gger? You're the ni gger.
DK: Nice comeback. You must be one of the smartest ni ggers alive to have thought of that one.
Neck: And you're a really fu cking stupid ni gger. And you're a really gay ni gger who likes purple di ck and orange chicken.
Shep: You know those aren't the correct racial stereotypes for black people, right.
Neck: I don't know what ni ggers like. I don't hang around any except for fu cking DK.
Shep: What about Pack?
Neck: Yeah, and Gustavo and Destroyer and Alias.
A gun goes off.
DK: See, you can't even count all of the ni ggers you hang around with. You must really love ni ggers. You hang out with so many of them AND you are one so the only way you don't know what they like is if you have fu cking au tistic down syndrome re tardation.
Shep: DK, when you were born, I bet you were a fu cking awful kid, so your parents took you to a doctor and asked him to give you a lobotomy to correct your behavior and the doctor told your parents that you were born with with a brain that was already effectively lobotomized, but he performed the extra lobotomy anyways.
Neck: Fu cking wrecked.
Shep: That goes for you, too, Neck.
Neck: Oh, well I guess you're a fu cking ni gger then, too.
DK: I guess we can all agree that you're both ni ggers and that Neck is lobotomized.
Shep: Christ, how about we all just whip out our dicks and sees whos is the biggest.
Neck: OK, I bet I have at least an inch on both of you fu ck-f ags.
DK: You actually want to pull out your di ck right now and you're calling us fa gs? Plus, you probably do have the biggest ****. Ni ggers are known for that.
Shep: Yeah, I was joking about that, fa glord.
Neck: So was I, you bi tch-ni ggers.
DK: You were joking about having a bigger di ck? So you're a re tarded ni gger AND you don't even have a big di ck. Must be rough.
Air: Oi, I bet I got the biggest wanking-piece of all of us.
Shep: Destroyer, why are you back again? We just told you to stay at home point.
Air: I heard gunfire so I figured you bi tch-boys already wrecked those other bi tch-boys.
Neck: No, dipsh it, we've been here the whole time.
DK: If there was gunfire, we didn't even hear it.
Shep: If there was gunfire, then that means...Sh it.
The rest of the squad joins Tex and Kalash in the firefight and pretty quickly eliminate the enemies.
Tex: Medic! Kalash is down.
Pack: Oh, sh it. That's me, my ni gga. What's the problem, Kalash?
DK: He's shot, dipsh it.
Pack: Well, sh it, I can see that, ni gga.
DK: Then what do you mean "what's the problem"?
Pack: I just mean like where does is it hurt, you know?
DK: Probably where he got shot.
Kalash coughs out some blood.
Air: Oi, just give him some medicine, yeah.
Pack: Oh, yeah. Here, drink some of this good-good.
Neck: What is that? Cough syrup?
Pack: Yeah, my ni gga. How'd you know?
Neck: Did your mom drop you on your head when you were a baby? I'd say parents, but I know a ni gger like you grew up without a dad.
Pack: Look, he coughing, ain't he?
Shep: Jesus, give him some pain killers. Look at him.
Kalash: No, I've got this.
Kalash pulls out a 4-gallon-sized ziploc bag with just a little we ed left in it and rolls a fat joint.
Kalash: Which one of you has a light?
Pack: I think I need to amputate his arms and legs or this ni gga ain't gonna make it.
Gus: When he dies, can I fu ck his corpse?
Tex: Shut up Gustavo, he's going to be fine! Just hang on Kalash.
Kalash: I don't think I'm going to last much longer, Tex, so I could really use that light now.
Gus: Don't our guns spit a little fire out when they shoot?
Pack: I think you're right, my ni gga.
Kalash: Yeah, but I don't think...
Pack puts rifle up to the joint in Kalash's mouth and fires, killing Kalash.
Tex: You fu cking killed him!
Pack: We all know that ni gga was already toast.
Neck: No, we don't know that you fu cking re tard.
DK: It's not like you were there to stop him from getting shot in the first place, Neck.
Neck: Fu ck you, DK. We would have heard the gunfire if you hadn't been trying to fu cking trolling me.
DK: But you're a ni gger.
Neck: You know what? Fu ck you, I'm out of here. Good luck without me trying to carry your fa ggot a sses.
Tex: No, Neck, he's dead and that's on all of us. We still have to think about Alias, though. He dies, we're all screwed.
Shep: Even a lobotomized chimp like you should be able to understand that, Neck.
Neck: Fu ckin fine.
Gus: So, can I fu ck this corpse or not?
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